My Testimony

Okay so here we go! I know it has been a while since I have made a post. I apologize to those (if there is anyone) who look forward to reading my posts. I enjoy blogging and all but at times it is just so difficult to think of something to write (actually type..). It becomes more of a burden than a hobby, and I haven't even been blogging that long. I feel like I have to sound so professional as if the quality of my blog makes me who I am. Anyway I have decided to make this blog post a little personal...

August 21st 2011...  A very special day to me. On this day I had received a few blessings from God above, but this post will focus on just one of my blessings. In the near future I hope to share the other blessings God has gifted me with. So let me have a little of your time to tell you about that one summer day (August is still summer right?).

It was a day that I certainly will never forget. It was the day of my baptism. Where I stood in front of hundreds of people and shared my testimony. When I told publicly the story of my life the story of how Jesus Christ saved me. I want to share my testimony with you now.

My name is Nicholas Krause. When I was growing up my family went to church but couldn't have lived father away from God intended. There was constant fighting at home. My father was a horrible father and our relationship suffered. In our house there was verbal and even physical abuse. Our family was messed up and finally my parents divorced. I was a miserable child. I was awful to everyone around me. Always taking my anger I stored inside out on those I loved. The law said I had to see my father occasionally and I absolutely hated our time together. That went on for a few years. Then one day things changed: He started to talk about how Jesus had changed his life. I didn't care at all about what my father had to say to me. I remember the way he treated me. I hated him. He persisted though, which was aggravating but if he didn't I wouldn't be here today. When we got together he wouldn't talk about anything besides the gospel of how Jesus came to this earth to save us. After putting up with it for long enough I started to want to believe what he told me so I asked God to open my eyes. Then slowly but surely I began to thirst for what God's Word had to say, and I started seeing how broken this world truly was. As I entered high school most of my friends had placed themselves in immoral life styles and drugs. So I started to part pathways with them. I had no desire for that kind of life. Then my life flipped upside down and I began to follow in the very footsteps I sworn to myself to avoid. Because of moral choices that I regret I slipped into a life style of lust and immorality. The very thing I promised myself I would never do was now a part of my life story. It was something I could never erase and it shook me to the core. I fell into deep depression, and I mean deep. I had lost all hope. I was on the verge of suicide. I thought God couldn't forgive me. I believed I was going to hell because of what I have chosen to do with me life.  I didn't want to admit God gave up on me, but everything around me suggested that He had left me to my own. On the night I was going to end my life I prayed, what would have been my last prayer to, God and I asked Him to please give me hope, If He was real, if He truly cared, and He did. I started reading the bible and nothing less than a miracle happened. Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works so that no one may boast". God revealed to me that no matter what I have ever done in my past or what I may ever do in my future will ever change what He had done for me. Before I was even born He sent His Son to not just die for me, but to be brutally murdered and crucified on a cross. I deserve that punishment but because of Jesus I am free and saved from that condemnation. That is how big my God is - and that is my story. I am here today as a free man, not judged by others but clean and pure as a new person before God because of what Jesus Christ did for me on the cross.



Believe it or not that is the shortened version.... God saved me. It doesn't matter if you believe me or not, because I know it is true. If it wasn't for Him I wouldn't be here typing this post. He didn't only save me, He promised me a future. Bringing glory to the One who took my place on the cross.

For all my brothers and sisters in Christ, even the ones I don't know yet, or may never know until heaven. I love you, and God loves you

"Feeling" It

Have you ever felt God's nearness? That feeling where you just know that He is in control. The feeling that makes you have nothing to worry about. The feeling that He is on top of things, and everything, all of the chaos, in your life is under the control of a Perfect God? If you have, you know exactly what I am talking about. If you haven't then you must think I've lost my mind. That is good and all until it is gone. When you feel like God is absent. Up until recently I thought my feeling of God's nearness actually reflected His nearness to me, and I couldn't have been more wrong.

I thought that God wasn't listening to my prayers because I felt He wasn't listening to them. I thought that God was distant from me because I felt that He was distant from me. I thought God was being silent because I couldn't hear Him. At first it was uncomfortable, then stressful, and then I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to ask myself  "Which is trustworthy, my feelings or God's Word"? My feelings argued that God was ignoring me, distant from me, and dead silent, but God's Word says not to trust our feelings.

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" - Jeremiah 17:9. God doesn't want us holding on to our feelings. He didn't give us feelings to guide us, that is His job. He wants us to turn to Him, to follow and to trust Him to guide us, not our feelings. Our hearts are evil and do not lead us anywhere Holy, rather they only lead us into sin and selfishness. Believe me, I know It can be very difficult sometimes not to listen to your feelings when they are screaming at you while it seems God is hardly whispering.

But God is listening!

You are in God's presence where ever you go, however you feel, you cannot get away from God, even if you tried.

O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

   you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down

   and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue,

   behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before,

   and lay your hand upon me.

 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

   it is high; I cannot attain it.

  Where shall I go from your Spirit?

   Or where shall I flee from your presence?

 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning

   and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me,

   and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,

   and the light about me be night,"

 even the darkness is not dark to you;

   the night is bright as the day,

   for darkness is as light with you.

 For you formed my inward parts;

   you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;

   my soul knows it very well.

 My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,

   intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,

   the days that were formed for me,

   when as yet there was none of them.

 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

   How vast is the sum of them!

 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.

   I awake, and I am still with you.

 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!

   O men of blood, depart from me!

They speak against you with malicious intent;

   your enemies take your name in vain!

 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?

   And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?

I hate them with complete hatred;

   I count them my enemies.

 Search me, O God, and know my heart!

    Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me,

   and lead me in the way everlasting!

-Psalm 139

You are as close to God when you can feel His breath as you are when cannot even hear remember what He sounds like.

Your feelings have absolutely nothing to do with your closeness to God. Do not listen to your feelings, but rather listen to God's Word, because in the end, His Word will be all that is left. 

An Unexpected Miracle.

Today started off like just another Sunday morning. I woke up around 8:00 AM, took a shower and began readying myself for church. The only thing slowing me down was my minor illness that I've had since last Sunday. I put on some clean jeans, my 2WordStory shirt (visible below) and some nice long socks! I was ready to go and worship the Lord and also to hear another good sermon from pastor Doug Schmidt.
During the car ride to Woodside I had in my lap my Bible, a copy of the "One Minute Bible", and my I-pod. I had a minor headache and was sick of being sick, but I was not going to let my illness ruin my Sunday morning.
I came to a realization that I had a funny sounding voice when I returned greetings to the men and women at the doors of Woodside. Just as I found my seat the band had started playing their first song "I'm Counting On God" and began the service. Pastor Doug then delivered a message and I was soon to be on my way back home. I had said goodbye to my friends and exchanged hugs and began my way out and into the main lobby.
I ran into (not literally...) one of my friends, Andrew, and we struck up a short conversation. Then it happened... While we were talking a man (I'd guess who was in his 30's) came up to us and asked if either of us had "some change for gas". At first I didn't know what he was talking about. He went on to explain how he just had enough gas to get to church that morning and was in need of money to return home. He said he felt bad that he had to ask around but what was he to do? Without hesitating, I reached into my back pocket, opened my wallet and grabbed a $20 bill and handed it to the man. With emotions going through my head so quickly, it was hard to tell what was going on. I saw a man who needed help and he extended his hand out to me, and I wanted nothing more than to help. I didn't want to waste this opportunity to shine God's love. This man had made the choice to come to church knowing he would not be able to get himself home. I was not going to represent God's family as a family who turns away beggars. His reaction was something I hope I never forget. His eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped as he said "Are you serious man? Man you are like a saint! Thank you so much man! I can't believe it!"
He was filled with amazement, and I knew it wasn't because of me. It was God Himself working through me. Let me tell you, it is a powerful feeling. God led me to that man just as He led that man to ask me for help. If I didn't stop to talk to my friend, If I left earlier than I did, or later than I did, or any other small thing, then I would have totally missed running into him. The timing was Perfect. I'm not blogging about this to boast or say "look at me, I gave a man $20!" I am not saying that at all. I actually hesitated if I should even write about this for the fear some people would not understand my point. Today's encounter  worked in me probably just as it has worked in that man. I thank God for choosing to give me a opportunity be a giver rather than a taker. I am in no way taking any credit for helping that man. I do not want any credit. It was God. It was all Him. All of the money I have is just His anyway. Today I gave a single man $20 so he could return to his home. 2,000 years ago Jesus gave every man His life, so we could go to our Eternal home in heaven. 
God preformed an unexpected Miracle today. In my life, I am thankful God used me, with no preparation. I was on the spot. It was all or nothing. Right then, right there He used me: Miracle. In the other man's life,  he knew that he should go to church, but he was uncertain about what the outcome would be because he knew he could only make a one way trip. Although in that uncertainty he trusted in God that He would have a plan, and like always, He did: Miracle.

"We give thanks to you, O God;

we give thanks, for your name is near.

We recount your wondrous deeds."

- Psalm 75:1

The Beginning of Something Beautiful

So here we go! This will be the first post of hopefully many posts that journal my life. I have no idea where this may go. My name is Nicholas Krause. I am one of a kind (besides this kid http://nicholaskrause.com/ ). I hope to be able to turn my blog into a place where people can come and learn, laugh, and peak into the life of Nicholas Krause (Me, not the little kid from the link).

A Brand New Beginning

I will leave you now with this: "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." Proverbs 10:12